Vermillion (Poem)

I’ve been listening to Vermillion Pt. 2 by Slipknot lately, and one day I was just inspired to write a poem based off of it. Hope you guys enjoy it.

She sleeps in white but dreams in black
Stepping on grass and shards of shattered glass
He sky is faded and void of color
Her dreams are filled with her vanished lover

Her once pure dress is covered in dirt
The one that she has worn since birth
It flaps in the wind she doesn’t feel
She lives in a world that isn’t real

She sings the song that nobody else sings
Wraps the gifts that no one else needs
She keeps everything locked up inside herself
She’s the victim that nobody tries to help

It’s spring but she feels colder than winter
She is a deep and hidden splinter
Stuck inside of me that I can get out
She’s silent even when she wants to shout

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Plastic (Poem)

I feel like I’m made of plastic
Sewn together by strings of anger and pain
And tied up by a tight elastic
That attempts to keep me sane

It just pains me this is how I’m living
Like a shattered man on a sinking ship
This car of pain is tired of being driven
And I’m too weak to tighten my grip

I’m starting to accept this depression
And that’s the thing that scares me the most
I’m too broken to give a good impression
Dead enough inside to be a ghost

I hold the shattered vase of my life
Wondering when did it break
I stare on the table at this sharpened knife
Wondering how much life there’s even left to take

Not As Merry Christmas

So it’s Christmas time and nothing really different for me. It’s sad, I used to really look forward to the holidays especially Christmas. I guess this goes along with growing up. There’s only 4 days left until Christmas Eve and that’s probably one of my favorite days of the year. I like seeing my extended family because I rarely spend time with any of them. My 2 cousins both gone off to college and I have a little over half a school year left and then I really don’t definitively know what I’m going to do. I have a lot of ideas on what I want to do but I don’t have a specific path paved out yet, but writing is definitely a tile I would like to pave with.

The Man in Black (Poem)

I’ve really been getting into writing poems lately, and I just thought I’d share one of my first’s.

The man in black just trudges along
Forever walking down the haunting road
Wishing that he could finish his song
But his soul is just too cold

The man in black walks by the crooked tree
Worn and withered by the never ending wind
Wondering what it’s like to be free
Wonders how life would be without so much sin

The man in black walks the path of crows
Segregated from life and isolated from hope
His cut is even deeper than it shows
But he has found a new way to cope

The man in black just stares at the tar
And finally feels that he has a true friend
The man in black has walked so far
Hoping soon he’ll make it to the end

The man in black simmers under the black hole sun
And stares at it until his eyes start to bleed
He has a different definition of fun
He’s just looking for the next opportunity to feed

The man in black hides in plain sight
Hoping never to be found
And every day he waits for the night
Because that’s when all his friends come around

The man in black has learned from his past
He depends on nothing but death
Always wishing that his next step is his last
Always wishing one day he’ll be able to forget

The man in black is starting to fade
And he feels a numbing feeling of content
He has finally found black’s darkest shade
Finally found the place to which his soul will be sent

The Man in the Chair

The man just sits in his chair, thinking of love, he has that feeling of wanting someone, but also feeling a prevalent uneasiness, getting number each day. The man just sits in his chair, counting the days he’s been lonely, counting the number of times he’s felt shattered or broken. The man just sits in his chair, watching all his friends and all who are close to him spending times with the ones they love, feeling more depressed every day, trying to keep his wall of happiness from crumbling. The man just sits in his chair, not caring about the time or the day, the week or the month, or anything but the one he needs, he just wonders when all of his pain will be washed away.

How I Feel (In Detail)

Life is intricate, life is beautiful when it’s at its basic state, its deepest root, but there are aspects that affect and distorts its natural innocence and beauty. There are good times and there are bad times, but right now I feel like I’m stranded in a tunnel void of hope, happiness, and life. Like i’m stuck in a freezer, my heart just keeps getting colder and colder the longer and further that I’m here. I feel like I’m encased in a cage of sorrow and emptiness. The way I’m feeling right now just tears my heart out, but numbs me at the same time. Writing has always been a channel, a place where my emotions can flow and I can just state my feelings and emotions, but it can help me dig myself out of this hole that I’ve found myself in. That’s how I feel.

#10: Getting Back on Track

The main reason why I started blogging was to have an outlet, to post about what I feel and what my opinions on certain things are, so let met get back on track. The Plymouth RMV is the worst fucking piece of shit I’ve ever had to go to. I recently went to go get my ID there and I waited and hour on the first day, but my Mom was already at Longhorn and we had to leave, so the next day I waited 2 hours to get called in. I had my birth certificated, social security card, and the $25 payment, and I also had an large envelope with a packet of information from UMass Boston. I get in there and they say they can’t accept the envelope, and I would have to go back home to get an envelope of a bill or a letter. Well I looked for half an hour just to find one because I never get any mail, and guess what, I never found one. I had to drive all the way to the bank and had them print out something that proves that I live where I do, which they didn’t even tell me was an option, and I had to look online to find out. I tried calling them but a machine answered, and I couldn’t even talk to anybody to fucking find out what would else would be acceptable that I could bring in other than that envelope (Because obviously I could’ve given UMass Boston a fake address to send stuff to). My Dad was also pissed saying that ‘It shouldn’t take this long to get a fucking photo ID’ and how ‘No wonder why everyone is moving out of this shitty state’. I have convinced myself that I’m never going there again. I remember being so angry that I thought about planting a bomb and destroying the building (While nobody was there of course), but rationality prevailed and I just put that bad experience right behind me.

#9: It’s Been a While

So it has been just over 4 Months since I last posted on here, so let me get you caught up. My main computer is shit, my laptop didn’t even work when I got it, so I really have had no applicable platform (I hate posting from my phone). Currently I’m in the school library finishing up on a project on Sociobiology, and I really have nothing better to do. I remember when I started to blog and how passionate I was about it and getting my opinions and messages out to the public, but recently I haven’t really cared enough to post on here, but recently I’ve wanted to start blogging again. {10/8}

The world is a lot different today than it was 4 months ago, with the outbreak of Ebola and the rise of the terrorist group Isis. I don’t blame people for being a little bit frightened of what the future may bring, but to be completely honest I’m not really scarred. The fear of Ebola spreading throughout the United States isn’t something that keeps me up at night, and I don’t know any one else who is. Maybe if it infiltrated Massachusetts I might be a little more worried. As for Isis, right now they have put out 4 videos of “Westerners” getting decapitated, along with a woman getting beheaded in Oklahoma. If I had to chose though, I am more worried about Ebola than Isis right now, but the worry isn’t affecting me in any way. Another hot-button topic is the NFL and how much of a mess they are, relating to their image and public relations. There has been multiple occasions were an NFL player committed domestic violence, and one occasion where an NFL player has been accused of child abuse for hitting his child with a tree branch for discipline, but the child was shown to have injuries on or around the genital area. The 3 most noteworthy of the accused are (or I should say were) star players on their teams (Greg Hardy, Ray Rice & Adrian Peterson). {10/9}

Alright that’s enough with the negativity and violence. For me life has been up and down in this little ‘break’ period that I’ve had, but recently it’s pretty good. Recently I broke my finger and got it evaluated yesterday and they say it’s healing fine, and I don’t feel any pain in it, and can bend it a lot more than I could before. School started up over a month ago and so far it’s been pretty good actually. My Dad is on the verge of signing a record deal, possibly as soon as Saturday. He is currently working with a mix of musicians from local bands Bad Karma, Third Knuckle, and his band. I do feel like a bum because I really haven’t been looking for a job until recently, and haven’t been doing much of anything productive, just chilling and doing nothing, so hopefully I get a call back soon and get a job. Well that’s all I have to say, soon I’ll be getting back to the usual posts because my laptop just got fixed. Thanks to those who have and are sticking with me, I will aim to give you some of the best and truthful blog posts that you could look for.

#8: Colleges and Mall Cops

Alright so I planned on meeting my friend in Braintree the other day, and I realized that I still hadn’t used my college tour day yet. I woke up at the normal time that I do for school and left like 15 minutes later than I normally would. So I get down to the train station and the train was scheduled to get there at 8:07, well I checked the time and it was 8:10. I then went on my phone and looked up the mbta website and find out some idiot got her car stuck on the tracks. So the train got delayed by about 25 minutes and got there at 8:32. I arrived at the Braintree station and then took the red line to JFK/UMASS and just barely made it in time.

So I get into this little room where other people are scheduled to take a tour also, and we go over this 45 minute power point, and then met with the tour guide. The facility was impressive and there were alot of constructions being done, but what really caught my eye was the catwalk system, it went on for a long time. There was nothing truly memorable other than that, but I really am considering trying to get my grade up and getting into that college, or at least any.

So I take back the shuttle bus to the train station and go up to Braintree. I had about 2 hours to wander around and do nothing, so I went to get a coffee from Dunkins and walk up to the mall. After those two hours my friend hit me up and we met at his house and then just started walking back up there. We didn’t even go in the mall we just went up to the very top of it. Now I was also at the very top during my first trip there (It’s about a 25 foot drop to the parking lot below that and an even further drop to to parking lot) and a white security guard came on walking by and didn’t say a word to me. On the second trip there me and my friend were in the exact spot and I was sitting on the ledge while he was standing. All of a sudden a black security guard came walking over here and said “Now tell me what’s wrong with this picture” and I replied “Nothing officer, I don’t see anything illegal going on over here.” Long story short he kicked us off the property for fucking sitting on a pretty secure and pretty not dangerous are were the ledge was really wide and there was no way I was falling from there. Basically what I’m trying to say is I wonder what would’ve happened if some black kids were in our situation, with a black mall cop walking by and saying nothing and then a white mall cop later on kicking them off the property, I wonder if the word ‘racist’ or ‘hate crime’ would be used. 

One more thing, the reason why I was sitting on the ledge is because I like the spot and it was a good spot to take some photos of the clouds and the surrounding from, I was never going to fall off the ledge.

#7: This is actually real

So I stumbled across one of the trends on Facebook and it talked about Justin Bieber killing black people and joining the KKK, and I just had to post something about this. So I watched the video and he was like 14 years old and the video just surfaced now, like really, how can a video like that be covered up for over like 3 years. The video was basically him saying “One less lonely nigger” a few times, and then he said “If I kill you I’ll be part of the KKK”. I know what you’re thinking, and no I am not lying, here’s the video link, or actually here’s a few of them if one site takes it down or something. Actually no it’s TMZ they’re definitely gonna leave it up

http://www.tmz.com/2014/06/04/justin-bieber-singing-one-less-lonely-n-word-video-girl/

Wow, that’s a new level of terrible even for ‘the Beibs’. I also read about Whoopi Goldberg of all fucking people defending him, saying “The N Word means nothing in Canada”. I’m pretty sure that the N-word has gotta mean something everywhere. Also one more thing, stay classy Bieber.